Disrespect towards subordinates is a mistake that many managers have made, that hurts moral
Last Monday, today and next Monday we’re reviewing things you as managers can do to promote a happier work environment. Last week was all about micromanaging, today we’re talking about aggressive or rude behavior.
Now we’re talking about the second thing in our series, that managers do that is not conducive to a good environment, and that’s being rude or disrespectful.
I want to approach this from a different standpoint and I have 2 tips to help you with your team.
This is a lesson in emotional intelligence, typically when a manager is rude or disrespectful there is another reason behind it that is drawing out the anger or aggression. Stress is usually the trigger; job pressure or something that they are responsible for in addition to the team they’re managing. Because of a lack of emotional intelligence, that frustration can get projected onto your team, which is a mistake that I know I have made a number of times in the past. Often the result of projecting that anger and aggression onto someone else is that they become angry as well because misery loves company.
So, managers, I want you to stop and pause, which I know sounds pretty basic, in fact, it’s something I’m trying to teach my kids, pause for 3 seconds and take a breath. If you’re about to do or say something and you can identify ‘I am upset’ then just stop. Just stop. In your head think “1” – “2” – “3” and that 3 seconds, believe it or not, will allow your brain to reset to a position that where the next words out of your mouth aren’t going to be rude or condescending. You always want to think twice before you belittle a teammate in front of another team member. That will bring trust and confidence for you from your team.
Managers, I want to let you know that I’ve apologized to my team members on more than one occasion and I’m sure it will happen again, the next time I have a moment of weakness where I’m not doing what I should be doing, or in the proper mindset.
It’s OK to say, ‘I’m sorry _______. I was upset about something else and I inappropriately directed some of that frustration towards you and I am sorry. I will do my best not to do that again. It wasn’t about you, your performance was great.’
It’s OK to apologize. So this week if you find yourself in a moment of heat or pressure or anxiety, just pause for 3 seconds and take a breath, I assure you that the result will be much better than if you let your emotions take over.
Talk to you soon.